The Wolverine Is More *Snore* Than *Snikt!*

Quick, name a list of the greatest X-Men. Who did you come up with? Beast, everyone's favorite blue, furry academic? Gambit, the ragin' Cajun with a penchant for sticky fingers and making things explode? Perhaps even Dazzler for some of you more flamboyant types? Whatever your choice, there is at least one name that should be on the lists of all people who consider themselves true X-Men fans. Here's a hint: he's short, he's Canadian, and he's the best there is at what he does (but what he does isn't very nice). I'm talking, of course, about Wolverine.

Pictured

He is one of Marvel's most ubiquitous faces (right up there with the Hulk and Spider-Man), appearing in almost every form of Marvel media, X-Men or otherwise, in existence since his 1974 introduction. He has long walked the halls of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, as both student and instructor. And although he is a loner, he has turned up on an awful lot of Marvel's other flagship teams, including Alpha Flight, X-Force, and the Avengers. He's even been carrying his own solo title since 1988, which is not something any other X-Man can say (even Cable needed Deadpool). It made sense, then, that in the wake of their X-Men film trilogy Marvel would give everyone's favorite hard-drinking, murderous Canuck his own movie spin-off; after all, how bad could it be?

Never Forget. Ever.

In the wake of 20th Century Fox's cinematic abortion, their follow-up effort, The Wolverine, didn't have to do much to earn a stamp of approval. In fact, it seemed primed to delight.

In addition to featuring my favorite X-Man, it would be taking place in my favorite foreign country: Japan. The exotic setting was inspired by one of the character's most unique arcs, penned by comic book greats Chris Claremont and Frank Miller. Director James Mangold had drawn previous critical acclaim for writing and directing the Johnny Cash biopic Walk the Line, so depicting Logan's tortured soul should have been familiar territory. It couldn't possibly go wrong! Right?

Well, yes and no. At its best, The Wolverine is a dark, serious, character-driven work that follows a broken man on a journey of healing and self-discovery. At its worst, the sense of gravitas gets lost in ridiculous action sequences, boring, motive-less villains, and over-the-top CGI. The film can't decide which it wants to be, moody character piece or wacky actioner, and ends up slipping through the gaps instead.

And that dance number was completely unnecessary.

The Wolverine picks up after the events of X-Men: the Last Stand, when Logan was forced to kill a Dark Phoenix-possessed Jean Grey. Devastated by the death of the woman he loved, Logan has renounced the name of Wolverine and retreated into the Alaskan wilderness. Having settled at the summit of a nice, lonely mountain overlooking a small town, he passes his days in wary peace with his neighbor: a grizzly bear; he passes his nights in fitful bouts of sleep punctuated by nightmare visions of his murdered love.

After a violent confrontation with a few hunters at the small town bar, Logan is introduced to Yukio, an emissary of one of his old acquaintances from WWII. Yashida, a soldier whose life Logan saved during the bombing of Nagasaki, is now dying, and he wishes to see Logan and express his gratitude before passing. He offers the world-weary wanderer one last gift: to make Logan mortal once again, by taking his healing factor and transferring it to Yashida himself. Unfortunately, Yashida dies before Logan can call his bluff, and his funeral gets crashed by an army of yakuza. Around the same time, Logan's healing factor begins acting wonky, and he finds himself on the run with Yashida's daughter Mariko. It soon becomes apparent that more than one person is after both Logan and Mariko, and he makes it his mission to find out who and why.

All while removing his shirt as much as possible.

As previously mentioned, the film shines when it focuses on the character of Logan and his journey to forgive himself for Jean's death. This is largely due to the presence of Huge Jacked-Abs (aka Hugh Jackman), who shows off the experience that comes from playing Marvel's most popular mutant for over a decade. At this point the role fits him like a glove. He is to Wolverine what Sean Connery is to James Bond.

Hat tip: cracked.com

You really get a sense of Logan's endless grief over Jean's death, as he is repeatedly confronted with her image (played in a cameo role by Famke Janssen). But even at his most downtrodden, he is still Wolverine at heart. There are plenty of scenes, lines and moments that capture Wolverine's trademark bad boy vibe which launched a thousand copycat anti-heroes in the 80's. Whether he's slicing and dicing yakuza, throwing a man out of a window, or simply taking a bath, Hugh Jackman is completely believable as Wolverine.

In Huge Jacked-Abs We Trust

Unfortunately, that's where the praiseworthy aspects of the movie come to an end. In between the pretty moments of somber soul-searching are scattered several clunky, emotionally empty fight scenes that contribute little to the narrative. Even the much-touted bullet train fight sequence feels like a tacked-on gimmick that adds nothing to the story overall. The villain, a mutant named Viper, also feels underdeveloped. There is never much of a reason given as to why she has it out for Logan, and Svetlana Khodchenkova delivers her lines with an unintentionally hilarious wooden awkwardness. Another big bad is revealed in a third act plot twist so stupid it boggles the mind why they didn't stick closer to the plot in Claremont's source material.

It's Wolverine. Versus ninjas. How do you mess that up?!

I really wanted to give The Wolverine the rave review that a movie based on such an iconic character deserves, but instead I must settle for an "it could have been worse." Jackman turns in yet another inspired performance as comics' most famous fictional Canadian, but not even his adamantium claws can sharpen up this weak sauce plot and underwhelming CGI. The Wolverine has its moments, but not enough to warrant today's ticket prices.

Verdict: C-Rank

P.S. Stay after the credits for a special scene hinting at mutantkind's next film: the upcoming X-Men Days of Future Past. It turns out Magneto's powers have returned, Professor X is somehow back from the dead and there are several adverts for Trask Industries (i.e. the people behind the iconic Sentinels) are everywhere.

My Favorite Bits of News From San Diego Comic-Con (Part Two)

There were more big reveals than you could shake a stick at this Saturday, but here are some of my highlights:

Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes dropped in on the folks at MTV Geek to discuss their appearance in Plants Vs Zombies Vs Jay and Silent Bob. It looks like this:

Smith also updated MTV Geek on his latest creative projects. The title he formerly called his last directorial effort, a hockey comedy-drama dubbed "Hit Somebody," will now be produced as a miniseries. Instead, his last movie will be Clerks III, and the script has been submitted to The Weinstein Company for review. He also hinted at an idea for a bizarre horror movie that came up during one of his podcasts in which a man is held captive and turned into a walrus (smh only Kevin Smith).

Meanwhile, IGN was covering a talk by Microsoft Creative Director Ken Lobb on the new Xbox One console. Lobb announced that the next gen black box will allow players to record and share the last 30 seconds of gameplay with a simple voice command, and the camera can tell when players have switched controllers, automatically switching controller settings based on who is holding it.

While discussing his new Hulu series The Awesomes, Seth Meyers revealed that he'd always wanted to do a Blue Beetle/Booster Gold superhero movie (with himself as Blue Beetle). I was instantly reminded of the latest installment from Yale Stewart's fantastic webcomic:

Full size here

Fun side story: Meyers once ran into professional comics penciller Kevin Maguire and asked to be drawn as Ted Kord's Blue Beetle. The resulting drawing is the thumbnail image for Meyers Twitter profile.

Attendees of Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. panel were lucky enough to witness the entire pilot episode (word on the street is it's awesome).

But perhaps the biggest news of the day came from the DC cinematic universe, with the announcement of not one but three new working titles. The first, a follow-up to this year's Man of Steel, will be a Superman/Batman movie - pairing DC's two most recognizable names to take on the sequel to Marvel/Disney's highest-grossing film ever (good luck with that) in 2015. It's probably a safe bet to assume Henry Cavill will return as Supes, but there's no word on who will be buttoning up Bruce Wayne's tailored Armani suit this time around. Next up will be a film adaptation for The Flash in 2016, followed by DC's answer to Marvel's The Avengers, Justice League, in 2017. DC also revealed the logo for the first film in line:

I think the batarang looks a bit chubby.

That's it for Saturday. Check back in Sunday for the last helping of juicy nerd tidbits!

Live Tweeting San Diego Comic-Con: Day Two

The feed will be up and running in a few minutes, and so will I! You can follow along here (and feel free to follow me!): https://twitter.com/BlackOtaku

Come back later for the round-up of my favorite bits of nerd news (here's yesterday's).

My Favorite Bits of News From San Diego Comic-Con

There was plenty of good nerdy news to choose from today, but these particular tidbits hit all the right buttons and stood out to me:


1. According to Chief Creative Officer Geoff Johns, DC Comics is wrapping up a crossover Justice League/JLA/Justice League Dark story arc called Trinity War. He also hinted that things will not end well for Earth's greatest heroes, particularly everyone's favorite Big Blue Boy Scout .

2. The good folks at Mondo revealed a line of limited edition posters and vinyl covers inspired by the cinematic works of Studio Ghibli.

Here's a sample...stop drooling.

3. Creators of that underrated critical darling of a show Orphan Black, Graeme Manson and John Fawcett announced that Season 1 DVDs of the series hit shelves this week.

4. And last but not least, Avatar creators Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko finally ante'd up and gave Legend of Korra fans the information they'd been waiting for - a September 2013 release - and almost 150 seconds of hysteria-inducing new footage. Enjoy:

Live-Tweeting San Diego Comic-Con 2013: Day One

Yep, you read that right. I'm going to be tapped into MTV.com's live stream for the next six hours, getting the skinny on all the latest from the world of nerd-dom. You can follow along with my tweets here (feel free to follow me!).

Check back later tonight, as I'll be posting a round-up of today's juiciest details.

Soapbox: Weighing in on The Zimmerman Verdict, and What It Means For Race in America

I began this blog as a way to honor the fact that I am both black and nerdy. I usually find myself writing about the latter, but every once in a while I am compelled to write about what it means to be black. Tonight is one of those times. Tonight, it was announced that 29-year-old George Zimmerman, the overzealous neighborhood watch captain who shot and killed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, had been found not guilty of second-degree murder and acquitted of manslaughter. A lot of people are not happy about it. I am one of those people.

I am not, however, surprised. The first red flag was raised a few days after the incident was initially reported, when I learned that Zimmerman had suffered injuries to his face and head.

I could tell that those injuries would have far-reaching ramifications. They meant more than just a bloody nose and a few stitches. They meant that Trayvon Martin hadn't just stood there and let Zimmerman shoot him. They meant he hadn't gone without a fight. And ultimately, they meant acquittal for Mr. Zimmerman. You see, black people don't exactly have a great track record when it comes to drumming up national sympathy. There are countless cases to choose from, but here are a couple of the most highly publicized:

1. In 1992, Rodney King (may he R.I.P.) didn't resist arrest before he was beat by five LAPD officers, four of whom were charged and subsequently acquitted of assault with a deadly weapon and excessive use of force.
2. In 1999, Amadou Diallo (may he R.I.P.) did nothing but reach for his wallet before four plainclothes NYPD officers shot and killed him. All four officers were later - surprise! - acquitted of all charges. Wyclef wrote a song about it.

Notice something? Neither of those young black men offered resistance of any kind, and the people who attacked them unprovoked got off scot-free. The defendants in both cases were given the benefit of the doubt because they were authority figures who believed they had probable cause to pull out their billy clubs and guns. Zimmerman did them one better; the evidence of his probable cause was all over the back of his head.

Right about then I began to have a bad feeling about the prosecution's chances. At this point, all Zimmerman's defense team had to do was convince the jury that he acted not because of race, but because he felt threatened. Here is where a lot of black people will call bullshit, but I believe he did feel threatened. By no means am I saying that he should, but I can see why he did and it has a lot to do with race.

For whatever reason, everyone seems to think that black people are tougher, stronger and more violent because of our unique role in America's history. This has been public opinion in Black America for a while, but for the scientific community it's a fascinating new phenomenon. The good people at Slate recently ran an article mentioning a new study where average people and medical personnel were asked to gauge a random subject's pain in a given situation. The results were surprisingly relevant to my current topic:

" In each experiment, the researchers found that white participants, black participants, and nurses and nursing students assumed that blacks felt less pain than whites...It turns out assumptions about what it means to be black—in terms of social status and hardship—may be behind the bias. In additional experiments, the researchers studied participants’ assumptions about adversity and privilege. The more privilege assumed of the target, the more pain the participants perceived. Conversely, the more hardship assumed, the less pain perceived. The researchers concluded that 'The present work finds that people assume that, relative to whites, blacks feel less pain because they have faced more hardship.'"

Here's the real kicker: the article that references this study was published as part of Slate's coverage of the Zimmerman trial. Trayvon Martin's skin told Zimmerman that he was a threat before his mouth ever could. Everyone believes that black people are somehow more resistant to life's various slings and arrows, whether it's trauma of a physical, emotional or mental nature. What's even sadder is that some black people believe it too (but that's a discussion for another time).

So in case you were (rightfully) bewildered as to how a husky Hispanic man, the jury that acquitted him and large swathes of the American public could perceive a 160-lb unarmed teenager as a threat instead of, I don't know, a scared kid fighting for his life with an oddly aggressive stranger...yeah, that's how. And here's how a mess like this can be prevented from happening again.

If You Find Yourself in George Zimmerman's Position

Back off and let the real police do their job. I know there had been a few robberies  and home invasions in the last few weeks and "these assholes always get away," but that's no excuse to ignore a certified emergency dispatcher's orders to stay put. Ideally, they have more training than you do, they're more experienced and, most importantly, they'll have more restraint. When in doubt, defer to the paid professional law enforcers.

If you do decide to ignore certified professionals and be an impulsive cockbag (I believe that's the scientific term for it), approach the individual in question and IDENTIFY YOURSELF so that he or she knows that you aren't a mugger/rapist/killer yourself. If a person runs after you audibly identify yourself as neighborhood watch, feel free to brand them with whatever unflattering label you like, give chase and swing your dick around as impulsive cockbags are wont to do.

If You Find Yourself in Trayvon Martin's Position

Relax, I'm not going to spew some ridiculous shit about not being able to wear hoodies anymore (fuck you, Geraldo Rivera).

I will, however, admit that there was something Trayvon Martin could have done to prevent his own death: cooperate. If you are a minority who is in trouble with an authority figure, whether it is a mall cop or the goddamn Attorney General (I don't know what you'd do to piss him off), the worst thing you can do is put up a fight. I understand that Martin was being followed by a strange man in a strange neighborhood, but his best bet was still to simply confront Zimmerman and find out what he wanted.

"Oh, you want to mug me? I'm broke, but here's some Skittles and iced tea. Please don't hurt me. I'd like to grow up and go to college."

"Oh, you want to kill me? I'd better run away!"

"Oh, you're an overzealous neighborhood watch captain? Actually I'm staying with my step mother down the street. Here's her address. You should have said so sooner; I thought you going to kill me or something."

And before you jump down my throat, demanding to know if I practice what I preach, rest assured that I do. You will never meet a nicer more cordial Aaron than the one who has just been pulled over. When I was pulled over for speeding outside of Jacksonville (coincidentally enough, I was driving back to school from Sanford, FL, where Trayvon Martin was shot), I was extremely cooperative. I cooperated when he quizzed me on my driver's license information to make sure I was who I really was. I cooperated when he felt inside of my car's wheel wells, looking for drugs and illegal contraband. I laughed good-naturedly as he asked me if I was on drugs.

Was it embarrassing? Yes. Did I want to cuss him out, yell "I'm not a fucking drug dealer!" and snidely ask him whether he took this much care with all of his speeding stops? Yes. Did I use some choice vocabulary when I was back in the privacy of my own vehicle, with two tickets totaling almost $500? You bet your ass I did. But I held my tongue and kept my hands where he could see them, just in case he turned out to be like that one cop from Boyz n the Hood.

It may not be your proudest moment, but it will be your smartest. The whole not dying thing is pretty nice too. Just imagine if Trayvon had confronted Zimmerman with words instead of fists that night. In the worst case scenario, let's say Zimmerman doesn't buy that Trayvon is staying just down the road and collars him until the police arrive, sure, Trayvon gets brought in and might have to spend a night in the bookings until someone can clear his name, but at least he's still alive. Plus he's got Zimmerman by the balls, to use legal terminology, and can sue the pants off of him for causing undue stress or defamation of character. And the court gets to hear something that was sorely missing from the actual Zimmerman trial: Trayvon's side of the story.

I'll admit it shouldn't have to be that way. Hopefully, this deeply unsatisfying verdict has inspired a new generation of future black voters, lawyers and lawmakers to revamp the justice system, and one day we'll get to complain just as loudly as we want when faced with undue hostility from authority figures, self-appointed or otherwise. In the meantime, they expect us to get loud, ignorant and disrespectful when confronted by authority, so let's throw them off by being very polite, reasonable and well-spoken.

And if the unfairness of this verdict (and all those that came before it) gets to be too much, just watch this video before you take to the streets:

Get angry or get smart. The choice is yours.

Summer Premier Season (Part Nine): Gin no Saji

Title: Gin no Saji
Release Date: July 11, 2013
Studio: A-1 Pictures
Genre: School Life, Slice of Life, Comedy
Premise: When Yugo Hachiken fails to get into his intended high school, he enrolls at Oezo Agricultural High School instead, thinking that the easy classes will leave plenty of time to study for college entrance exams. What he doesn't know is that Oezo's curriculum also requires back-breaking amounts of hard labor. Shenanigans ensue.

Verdict: Conventional wisdom would tell you to leave this anime alone. The subject matter, farm life, is quite a departure anime's usual fare. The first episode, although energetically animated, is pretty forgettable. And finally, I can't see any otaku's Top Ten List including an anime about farming. Case closed, right?

Not quite. This particular anime about farm life happens to be based on a manga by Hiromu Arakawa.

Self portrait. JK, she really looks like this

 In case that name doesn't ring a bell, she's the brilliant creative mind behind everyone's favorite anime about alchemy: Fullmetal Alchemist. As it turns out, after wrapping up production on one of the greatest anime/manga series of all time (let's just say it's on a lot of people's Top Ten Lists) in 2010, Arakawa-sensei began work on this puppy in 2011. The story hits a bit closer to home than her previous efforts, as it is inspired by her childhood growing up on a Hokkaido dairy farm.

'Nuff said, you had me at "Hiromu Arakawa." If anyone could pull off an anime about farming, it's her. Production studio A-1 Pictures seems to agree, as they've already greenlit and scheduled a second season which will premier next year. If it takes a few episodes for this one to get going, I completely understand. Based on the author's track record, your patience is sure to be rewarded.